Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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