Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Randomize
