Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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