Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
