I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
