My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
