I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I will pee on everything he values.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
