You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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