I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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