how can u be prego again
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I did not marry a roomba.
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