Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
