week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
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