enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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