I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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