Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
