Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
