dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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