I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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