im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
