At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
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