SEEEEXXX PLEASE
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
