drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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