if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
