My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
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