ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
