fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
