in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
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