jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
