only if we run a train.
done.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
