bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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