hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I'm really busy with my period
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