tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
