I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
