why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Randomize
