He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
well I can't set my house on fire every night
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
