No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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