I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
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