Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
