Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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