I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Randomize