Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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