I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
