seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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