About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
