i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
