butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
false alarm, still single
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
