Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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