I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Randomize
