he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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