Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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