When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I'm passing your future prison.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
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