Who did Billy Mays play for?
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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