I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Randomize
