He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
