I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
