dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Someone shattered a urinal.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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