I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Randomize
