Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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