Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
