the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
