Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry Veritas143 hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(908): View more from New Jersey

Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.

Fav 22 1689 3857
share tweet
(203): View more from Connecticut

whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard

Fav 28 1011 4187
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(216): View more from Ohio

she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"

Fav 20 4954 1432
share tweet
(262): View more from Wisconsin

Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay

Fav 5 1127 2197
share tweet
(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?

Fav 36 903 6870
share tweet
(541): View more from Oregon

It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.

Fav 2 1559 786
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(805): View more from California

Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next

Fav 1 1150 595
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(615): View more from Tennessee

and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"

(615): View more from Tennessee

which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex

Fav 0 430 733
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(252): View more from North Carolina

doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.

Fav 0 64 5
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT