So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
