Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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