Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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